Lame/unoriginal halloween costumes

Hmmm what to be for Halloween this year. Ohh maybe I'll be Don Draper--hes so cool! Love that show--plus I am just like him in real life! What a great idea!   It's not even like 1,000 other douchebags will have that same costume! Maybe I'll be something that's totally relevant in the news and that will also be played the fuck out.  Maybe...hmm...OH the Facebook guy! Or maybe I'm a huge dork and will dress like an Avatar character. Fuck it I'm going as a vampire from one of those vampire movies. Totally original.

Fucking idiots.

Trendy catch phrases and cliches among the business douchebag set

Yea bro, we're feeling so "bullish" about this new offering. There is so much "meat on the bone", so much "low hanging fruit"--I've been "championing" this thing all the way up the line. I mean, "at the end of the day" we are going to be "killing it!" "crushing it!""drinking so much kool aid!""putting more feathers in our quill!!"

Now lets go hit the gym, get our balls waxed, grab a few cocktails at Marquee and rape some chicks.

Group clapping during musical performances

Oh we're all clapping along to this song-- everyone! We all know how the song goes! We could be at church, or maybe a concert in the park, or maybe even watching a semi-respected/accomplished artist, who knows? All I know is that I fucking hate group clapping. 99.9% of the time it's associated with some sort of music/noise that sucks anyway. The clapping eventually takes over the whole song, only enhancing the terribleness that once was just a bad song, but now it's worse.  What is this, Kumbaya? Fuck that shit too.

Pennies

Hate them, and they are pretty much worthless. "Oh I collected so many of them in this huge jar!" Good for you. Have fun lugging that heavy fucker to the bank so you can cash it in for $6.75. You'd be better off throwing them away and just moving on with your life.

The Spin Doctors

Just looking at this photo starts to the fuel the fire

Assholes that think they are smarter than you because they look at paintings for longer amounts of time

Oh, because you look at a painting longer, obviously you're smarter than me because I only looked at it for 15 seconds. You're enlightened, I am an idiot.

How about this? Go fuck yourself.

People who are proud to "not own a TV"

Fuck that shit. Get off your high horse and into Best Buy. You know TV is awesome:

-news

-sports

-movies

-documentaries

-food shows

-everything else that rules on TV

ME: How about that last episode of Mad Men?

GUY WITHOUT TV: Oh, I don't know what that is, I don't own a TV

ME: Really, you've never even heard of it, huh?

GW/OTV: Nope, don't own a TV. I read books and think TV is mindless.

ME: I am going to pummel you with an iron pipe right now.